This is the part where I make up questions that I’ve never been asked, and then answer them in order to appear more popular than I really am:
What’s an Existential Christian?
I am. Kirkegaard was too.
Why are you so existential?
Because I can’t help but see the meaninglessness and futility of life. Plus I’m a depressive realist. And a pessimist. And probably lots of other negative-connotated “ist’s” as well.
Why don’t you ever update?
Because this too is meaningless.